Someday Soon

I should seriously be studying, but the sermon this morning totally moved me to B I T S.

I shared this with my mum, and I think I saw her tearing a bit. Which makes me tear a bit as well. Aha... I remember when my mum used to be really moody a lot, and she used to make me so incredibly angry because I always thought she just never showed any understanding. And I don't mean this to sound like some type cliche, but after years of having this deep-seated anger toward my mum, for always criticising my sisters and I (she loves my brother:P), I suddenly have this new-found care for her, like I always want to tell her things and always want to show her that I appreciate the food she cooks and how when she comes back late from work, I try to make her feel welcomed. It must have been hard for her, for y e a r s, to come back home at like 11pm every night to a house full of snotty, bitchy kids.

But really, after years (everything seems to happen in years haha), her mood really just softened. And I don't know if it was because my mood softened, and out of all my sisters I became the one to finally show love to her, or if it was because she started to attend church. Either way, I feel like God has kinda made his move in both our lives- for me to become humbler towards her, and for her to become well....less moody:)

The message I heard this morning was in itself, something I thought would resonate in a lot of people's hearts.

When I walk past a rubbish dump, or go through Werribee... or even smell my brother's farts. It STINKS like **** and I can't help but go EW and smother my face with my own germ-infested hands. The smell is putrid and should be replaced with Burberry's The Beat (cos of my idol Aggy).

When someone approaches me asking me to 'kindly donate money' to a charity/cause they are representing, I feel somewhat torn to part with my precious two dollars. I start thinking of excuses as to why I shouldn't donate- they're frauds, I only have two dollars...or I don't even think at all and just stare at them blankly, as if my stare would read the expression 'please go away'.

When I reflect on my exchange trip to China (boy was it FUN!), I can't help but to also remember all the 'ghastly' sights of desperation. From seeing a beggar with a seriously charred face that you could almost mistake him for an alien (more so than Jessica Wu), to having watched and laughed with my friends, at two beggars who were literally clinging on to my Chinese teacher and asking him for 'qian'. ( $$ ) We would also frequently visit our favourite black-market, that sold E V E R Y T H I N G- from Adidaz shoes to Folex watches. But I would hate it there, it was too crowded, too smelly and I was constantly, no, ALWAYS followed and hassled by chinese men and women desperate for me to buy their fake goods.

And when I look back at my attitude and thoughts and just disgusting manners that I had, I can't help but feel really convicted and like I am, in fact, everything that I despise in people.

We are able to surround ourselves with good smells and good looking things/people. Simply, like really, simply because we were born into it. I feel like I haven't earnt anything that I have...I'm really blessed by my parents who sent me to swimming school so I could win lots of races in high school, really blessed by my grandma who sends $$ so I can buy 150$ textbooks, really blessed that my parents chose to move to Aussie Aus land, so I can boast to Ethopia, Cambodia and those beggars that were clinging onto my Chinese teacher, that I can walk from my house to my local milkbar without getting raped, that when I'm having a dilemma, it's over the fact that I can't make up my mind as to whether I should have KFC or Nandos and that my house has five toilets:\

But I don't want five toilets (seriously, no one uses the one downstairs), and I don't want 150$ textbooks (especially because there's this online medical site and it lets you download heaps of textbooks).

There is so much we can do for our 'friends' who have no choice BUT to hassle people for $$ and live in fart-smelling places. And it is impossible for us to go jetsetting off to these places in the hope of becoming the next Mother Teresa of the world.

Actually, it's almost beyond our reach to save the world, but it is quite possible for us to save our world. When you see a stranger, don't think 'mean bus driver, bitch, fat', try to think 'friend, human being, someone who's had a tough day, mother'. When someone treats you badly, just remember that you've probably treated a million other people just as worse. And when you look at your studies, just put yourself away, and think 'this is for that person I'm going to help in the future'.

And if you really think about it, it seems like everything just has so much more meaning when we're doing it for someone else.